Sermons & Pastoral Resources

The Wedding Ceremony of Anita Cadonau and Dana Huseby

Saturday, April 6, 2002

Pastor Steve and Pastor Faye enter the church, followed by the Cross, carried down the center aisle by Pastor Mike. The best women, Denise and Julie enter and stand on either side of the platform. Dana enters between her mom and Dad from one side of the church while Anita enters with her brother from the opposite side. All stand before the pastors with their arms interlocked.

Steve: Welcome, family and friends to this great occasion celebrated with love shared by Dana and Anita. Your presence this day heightens the joy and happiness felt in our hearts.

This is a day of great beauty, great love and also a bittersweet day. Anita and Dana come to this day with deepest gratitude, knowing how blessed they are to be surrounded by people who love them, who recognize the value of their relationship. But we equally can't come to this day without remembering all the gay and lesbian people who remain hidden in their faith communities because of fear and rejection, those who must deny their intimate relationships with words like "my roommate" and "best friend." Those who have to continue to struggle with themselves to accept the gift that God has placed within them, and the gift that God is making of them. We recall these friends in silent prayer now.

(Prayer bell, followed by silence.)

Steve: When you leave this wedding celebration today Dana and Anita hope that you will go as witnesses of the love which is shared between them, and in thankfulness for the devotion they have to God for giving them to each other in this loving relationship. When we hear gay and lesbian relationships mocked, when words are spoken in public places that diminish the validity of what two men and two women can share together, we ask you to remember today what you have experienced here. This ceremony isn't an attempt to conform to the tradition of the church, to make it look as though this relationship is more acceptable than others. Dana and Anita fully realize that however much this might look like a traditional wedding, when all is said and done today it will be two women who kiss. Let me know if you missed that part. That may not make it part of the tradition that we are bringing into this church today this blessed relationship, not to seek acceptance or conformity to the tradition, but it is here because we believe this relationship enhances the life of the whole church by enlarging the embrace and the vision of the church. This is church happening today. This is our story. This is life lived as theology, not an apology. (applause and amens) We belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to all of us.

Let us pray.

Faye: Let us join our hearts and our minds together.

Holy One, we are assured of your presence and blessing when we gather in your name. In the light of this new morning we thank you for giving us your love to share with one another. We are aware of your grace and peace as we honor the coming together of two separate lives. As many different communities and yet together, we ask for a strengthening of all of our relationships and interactions. May we use this day and this hour to see again how our world family can be bound together in mutuality and love. Break into our open hearts, and bless the covenant made here today. In the name of our Creator we pray. Amen.

(Prayer bell rings 3 times.)

Anita and Dana exchange kisses and hugs with family members who then return to their seats.

Brenda: A reading from the Letter of Paul to the Colossians (3.12-15).

As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, put on compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness and patience. Forbearing one another, and if anyone has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these, put on a love which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.

Vera: A reading from Paul to the church in Corinth.

Set your heart on the greater gifts. Now I will show you the way that surpasses all the others.

If I speak with human tongues and interpret as well but do not have love, I am a noisy gong, a clanging If I have the gift of full knowledge comprehending all mysteries, if I have faith enough to move mountains and have not love, I am nothing. If I give everything I have to save the poor and give my body to be burned but have no love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous, does not put on airs. It is not smuggish. Love is never rude. It is not demanding, it is not prone to anger, neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in life's wrongs, but rejoices in the truth. There is no limit to love's forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure. Love never ends.

Brenda: A reading from the book of Ruth, Chapter One.

Ruth said to Naomi, "Don't urge me to leave you, or turn back from you. Where you go, I will go. And where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so harshly if anything but death separates you and me."

Steve: Please stand for the Gospel reading. (congregation stands)

Jesus says, be compassionate, just as God is compassionate. Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgive. Give, and there will be gifts for you, a full measure pressed down, shaken together and overflowing will be poured into your lap, because the measure you use will be measured with you.

The Word of God. Thanks be to God.

In the name of God our Creator, His Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Dana, Anita, family and friends, we gather on this auspicious marvelous occasion to mark what is a celebration of the absolutely and utterly ordinary. Anita and Dana, simply proclaim today that they love each other. Is anyone surprised? So what are you doing here? You have made a whole-hearted decision to love each other. This is the mystery of love made flesh, love made real in our lives, love flowing into your hearts and overflowing into your lives and ours. This is an experience of God, for to love is to know God. And yet we admit questions arise. By what right, by what authority do you lesbian women dare to make this commitment today? The narrow-minded among us want to tame, want to domesticate, want to package the gospel. They want to control Christ, but Christ is controversial. After all, the man got killed for loving us too much. Jesus knows all about crucified love. He was executed for proclaiming that God is infinite love, infinite mercy and compassion for all beings under all circumstances-the poor, the outcast, the losers, the oppressors, the least, the last, the lost. Christ knows we are made for loving; that is our deepest yearning, our deepest longing, the deepest ache of our hearts and what we are most fearful of. To be loved for who we are. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? You know the difficulties before you, but more importantly you trust the resurrection before you, and that is why this day I and we are so happy for you, and the delight you share in each other.

Dana, you are loved for the joy, the intelligence, the sweetness and the courage that Anita experiences in you. You are treasured for your commitment to people, to life, to God and because you have Anita a much better person. (laughter, applause and cheers) Thank God—the rest of us couldn't do it.

Anita, you are loved because of your fire, because of your tenacity, because of your enthusiasm for life, for children, for the homeless, for the feelings of blessedness and magic which Dana receives through you.

This wonderful trust that the two of you share is grace upon grace upon grace.

Do you remember all those stories in the Bible about Jesus and the Lesbians? (laughter) Neither do I. (more laughter) But there is a passage from Galatians which applies to all of us this day and in all times. It is a foundation scripture of the earliest church: In Christ there is neither Jew or Greek, male or female, slave or free, gay or straight, insider or outsider, for all are one in Christ. Distinctions among us, yes. Separation among us, no. The great deceit. We belong to one another because God is love. We come from love, we return to love. Be compassionate as God is compassionate.

Give and forgive, and abundant life will be poured into you, over you, all around you as that great Saint of the Church Carlos Santana says, "Give me your heart. Make it real or just forget about it."

Make it real. Make it real. Enjoy each other, for this is just the beginning. God has so much more in store for you. Are you ready?

May God richly bless and sustain you in the intimacy and infinity of joy that you have discovered in loving each other.

Mike: In the spirit of Universal Love which makes each one of us and all of us together real, let us join in singing "Give Thanks With A Grateful Heart."

(Congregational singing.)

"Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks onto the Holy One,
Give thanks, because God's given Jesus Christ, God's Son.
"Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks onto the Holy One,
Give thanks, because God's given Jesus Christ, God's Son.
And now, let the weak say "I am strong,"
Let the poor say "I am rich,"
Because of what our God has done for us, give thanks."

Steve: Dana and Anita, together in this church may God both strengthen and seal your love in the presence of your friends and this community. Christ abundantly blesses your love. It is your intention to share with each other in laughter and in tears all the years bring. By your promises now bind yourselves to each other.

Anita: Pastor Steve said it. He said a lot of the things that I feel about you. Anyone who's spent any time with me in the last three years knows how much I love you. And anyone who's ever spent any time with you knows why I love you. There's so many reasons. But it's more than your attributes, it's more than your character or your beauty. It's just who you are in this world, how you move through life. It's your presence. It's God in you. I've always felt it. And I have a lot of feelings for you...a lot of feelings! (laughter) But it's not feelings that have me standing here this morning, it's more than that. There's a deep knowing in my heart that you are the one for me. You have changed me. I owe you for that and I'm so grateful for that.

You and I have already made so many promises to each other, and we'll make so many more but there are a couple I want to share with you this morning that I want witnesses to hear and I want to be said in the presence of God in this house.

Dana, I promise to love you all the days of my life, continually seeking for ways to reaffirm and live out what it truly means to cherish another. In kind words spoken and in attentive listening, in valuing your opinion as though it were my own, in asking for forgiveness and in freely giving forgiveness when asked, in keeping my tennis shoes off the bedspread (laughter)..and that's perhaps among the hardest promises I made (more laughter). In emptying my pockets before throwing my jeans in the laundry basket (laughter)...in these ways and in a thousand more. I love you with all that I am Dana and I want to live out my life with you in a way that never leaves room for you to question what is a certain reality.

I promise to bring your name before God each day, thanking the One who brought us together and binds us together for the privilege of loving you and being loved by you. My greatest desire for you is that God's perfect will and yearning be fulfilled in your life. To this end I pray my life will be a blessing to you and I promise to support, encourage and affirm you in this life as you follow God's leading. Consider me your personal cheerleader.

I promise to be faithful to you and to our relationship. I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. And when hard times come as they do to all relationships, my home and my life will remain with you and no where else. I will do whatever work needs to be done, and I'll make what ever compromises need to be reached and I'll talk about negotations (laughter). I believe not only in our determination to move us through these times but even more in God's sustaining grace to carry us through and our relationship will be strengthened and our marriage deepened. In that same way, I also promise to be faithful in this way, you need never wonder or ever worry that someone else might come along to turn my head or take my heart. My head has already been turned and my heart already taken by you and no other and so it will be for the rest of my days.

Dana Lynn, I love you to the moon and back again, to infinity and beyond, forever and ever.

Dana: Anita, I love you with my whole heart, my whole body, and my spirit. I have felt we were married before this actual marriage rite. Our ceremony is just a confirmation for what I know is true: you, Anita, are an incredible human being. Anyone who is touched by your life is blessed, truly blessed. I love your passion and your zest for life. I love how you can take an ordinary moment and just fill it with joy. I love your compassion for people that are less fortunate. Watching you with children and seeing how special you make them feel warms my heart. Our life together is incredible. I wish the blessings we have together for everyone else. Our house often rings with the hearty laughter. You are beautiful, you are intelligent, and you are filled with the wisdom of God. I love who we are together, and I love who I am with you.

Anita, I promise I will do everything I can do, that I will not be complacent or take for granted what we have in our lives, in our love, in our joy and in our laughter together. When difficult times knock on our door, I promise I will stay by your side and not forsake you. I promise I will be faithful to you. I promise to speak with love, truth, honesty and respect. I promise I will find ways to encourage you and support you to become all that God has intended for you to become. I will pray for you each day and hold your name before God. I promise I will love you and find ways to show you how much I love you all of my life. Anita, I love you to the moon and beyond, till infinity and forever.

Rings are exchanged with these words:

Anita: Dana, I take you to be my wife. I promise before God and these witnesses to be loyal to you with my whole life and my whole being, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to encourage and to forgive, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.

Dana: Anita, I take you to be my wife. I promise before God and these witnesses to be loyal to you with my whole life and my whole being; to share with you in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to encourage and to forgive, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.

Faye: These rings are now offered as symbols of tenderness and commitment. They are fashioned in the shape of the sun and the moon, and in the complete circle that has no beginning and no ending. And perhaps the poet Rumi was right when he said, "Perhaps you too have been with each other from the very beginning of time." And so now as you wear this symbol, be reminded of the other as you move through your days. Let's pray.

God of covenant, in the gift of these rings to the other bless both the giver and the receiver of these rings. May they each grow in your love and the love of the other as they fulfil their promises to one another. Bring these two to old age, loving more completely every day. With God's spirit, and in the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

Anita: Dana, I pledge my love and my loyalty.

Dana: Anita, I pledge my love and my loyalty.

(With chimes ringing, Dana and Anita light the Unity Candle.)

Anita: Because Dana and I know that a relationship is not just about the two people who enter in but about everyone who their lives touch, their relationship touches, we offer this prayer as our hope for our marriage.

Dana and Anita together:

Lord, make us an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love,
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in forgiving that we are forgiven,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

Steve: Dana and Anita, by your promises before God and the people gathered here you have made yourselves Wife and Wife. Blessed be God-Creator, Son and Holy Spirit. Please stand. (congregation stands and joins in responsive call to communion)

Steve: Lord be with you.

Congregation: And also with you.

Steve: Lift up your hearts.

Congregation: We lift them up to the Lord.

Steve: Give thanks to the Lord.

Congregation: It is right to give God thanks and praise.

Steve: Gracious God, we do well always and everywhere to give You thanks. You created us in love to share Your divine life. We see Your high destiny and Your love for us which bears an imprint upon the deepness of our souls. Love is our origin, love is our constant calling, love is our fulfillment in Your presence. The love Anita and Dana share is made whole and given in this marriage it becomes a mirror of Your everlasting love.

We remember on the night Your deepest love was betrayed how Jesus took bread, gave thanks, broke it and shared it with his friends saying, "Take and eat, this is my body which is given for you. Do this and remember me." After supper he took the cup, offered thanks and praise sharing it with them said "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. It is poured out for you and all people, that sin might be forgiven and you set free to love. Do this and remember me."

Now Spirit of the Living God, use this celebration and the depths of Your compassion by which we are made true and beautiful and holy forever. In Christ's name we pray. Amen. Let's pray the Lord's Prayer together as printed in your program.

All: Abba in heaven, holy be your name, Your reign come.
Your yearning be done on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins and offenses as we forgive those who sin against us.
Do not let us succumb to the trial but deliver us all from evil.
For the kinship, the power and the glory are yours now and forever. Amen.

Steve: The love which makes us whole. (The bread is held up and broken). Thanks be to God. The earliest name for this celebration named communion was agape, Greek which means a 'love feast.' The earliest christians received no teaching whatsoever about communion because it has to be experienced. If you are touched by love today, you are invited. If you love Dana and Anita, you are invited. If you love your life, you are invited to this feast of love.

(The bread is given by the pastors while Anita and Dana serve the cup to all who come to receive.)

Faye: Anita and Dana have created a wedding certificate that they will sign first, followed by family members. They invite all of you to sign it following the wedding. The declaration reads "Anita Cadonau and Dana Huseby have on this day, the sixth of April, 2002, committed before God and the collective witness of family and friends to enter into the covenant of marriage. By doing so they pledge to strengthen and cherish the other, encouraging often, forgiving always, remaining ever faithful to their relationship and their God. In confirmation of this pledge we sign our names to this declaration of love and commitment."

The document is signed first by Anita and Dana and then followed by both pastors, their best women, Denise and Julie, and last by family members.

Steve: Let us pray. Gracious God, Creator of love. We bless you for the joy in which Dana and Anita have found with each other, and for the hope and trust in which they have established this marriage. Pour down your grace upon them that they may fulfill the vows they made on this day and reflect your steadfast love. From Your great store of strength give them power and patience, affection and understanding, courage and love for You and each other and the world, that they may continue together in mutual growth in Your wisdom. In Christ's name we pray, Amen.

Lord God establish and sustain you in that love to which we have all been created that you may find delight in each other and grow in holy love until your lives end.

You may kiss each other. (cheers)

(The kiss, applause and cheers.)

Faye: May I present for the very first time, Anita and Dana Cadonau-Huseby.

© 2002 Anita Cadonau-Huseby.

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